


Some Nights

by Hot4Haught



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark Thoughts, Depression, Emo Nicole, F/F, Mention of Waverly, Nicole centric, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot4Haught/pseuds/Hot4Haught
Summary: Nicole has some dark thoughts.





	Some Nights

     Some nights were good. Some nights she could forget. The memories were always there, but most nights she could tuck them away...bury them where they couldn't hurt her. But some nights she found it too difficult to escape the weight of her past, and the self-loathing that came with such painful memories.

     Tears were not something Nicole parted with easily. She held onto them, knowing that the loss of one meant the rest would follow. Until recently, Nicole didn't allow herself the indulgence of feelings. She couldn't afford the loss of spirit that came with such an indulgence. She'd had a difficult life, but she worked hard every day to ensure that it didn't define her. She was so much more than her past...she needed to be. She tried her best to be strong. But some nights she couldn't be strong. Some nights the price of a smile was too high. Some nights she felt like letting go.

     Nicole felt completely alone. She knew she had people who cared for her, but she couldn't bring herself to believe that their intentions were genuine. They deserved someone better. Nicole wanted to be better. She tried to be better, and she found it hard to understand that was the best she could do right now. She felt trapped between a past that had never lessened it's grip and a future she didn't think she deserved. It was as though every terrible thought she'd ever experienced had her pinned to the floor, unable to move. She didn't want to move. There was something about the death-like stillness that made her feel at peace. Peace was a rarity that Nicole wished she could hold onto for eternity. Some nights she could imagine a peaceful eternity. Some nights she could imagine a world free from the pain that lived behind her smile. Some nights she wished she could fade away.

     Living in the darkness of one's mind was a burden that Nicole knew well. It was a forced isolation with no promise of escape. Her mind would whisper to her, deepening the pain etched onto her heart. Nicole accepted the pain. She welcomed it. She deserved it. Nicole had grown accustomed to the darkness. It had become a part of her. But some nights the darkness wasn't strong enough. Some nights there was a light. Some nights she had Waverly.


End file.
